This week, Oz and Curtis sprint through the upstate New York wilderness to catch up with Michael Mann's sweeping 1757 historical epic, The Last of the Mohicans. It's a gorgeous, heart-pounding, and surprisingly thirsty tale of colonial war, forbidden romance, and a very handsome frontiersman named Hawkeye, who is apparently not the last of anything. Grab your long rifles, check your canoe-sharing app, and remember: Stay alive!
The hosts break down:
Hawkeye (Daniel Day-Lewis): The world's fastest man, a champion rifle marksman, and the only person in the colonies who bathes regularly.
Major Duncan Hayward: A British officer who is approximately 90% entitled entitlement, 5% red coat, and 5% pudding.
The Fort Henry Fling: Proof that in the 1700s, raw passion can overcome dirt, gunpowder residue, and the lack of running water.
Magwa: The villain who wants revenge so badly, he’s willing to become the very thing that twisted him. Also, his wife moved on in five minutes.
The Titchler Line: Delivered with the appropriate amount of gravitas (and a well-timed camera turn) to justify the price of admission.
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