The Subtitles
For people who refuse to listen.
Reel Terror: My Bloody Valentine Review
Read our My Bloody Valentine review. We explore the ultimate holiday slasher, the legend of Harry Warden, and why the “pickaxe” is the genre’s most underrated weapon.
Reel Terror: The Beast Within Review
Read our The Beast Within review. We explore this brutal 80s body horror film, its surprising plot twists, and why it’s more than just a werewolf movie.
Night Patrol Review
Read our Night Patrol review. We analyze Jackie Kong’s “truly dreadful” comedy, the tasteless jokes, and why it’s more of a punishment than a film.
Reel Terror: Invaders from Mars Review
Read our Invaders from Mars review. We look back at Tobe Hooper’s remake, featuring Giger-like alien designs, nightmarish teachers, and childhood terror.
Moonraker Review
Read our Moonraker review. We discuss why Roger Moore’s Bond adventure in space is a franchise lemon, featuring Hugo Drax, Jaws, and Dr. Holly Goodhead.
Reel Terror: Saturday the 14th Review
Read our Saturday the 14th review. We revisit the 1981 horror-comedy spoof to discuss the deadpan puns, the “cursed” house, and why it’s painfully average.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 Review
Read our The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 review. We discuss the transition from the arena to the rebellion, Jennifer Lawrence’s performance, and the power of propaganda.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Review
Read our Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan review. We explore why this 1982 masterpiece is the franchise’s crown jewel, featuring Spock’s sacrifice and Khan’s legendary rivalry.
Review: Oliver Twist (Spine #32)
Read our Oliver Twist (1948) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #32 to discuss David Lean’s “Noir Dickens” style, Alec Guinness as Fagin, and the terror of Bill Sikes.
Review: Great Expectations (Spine #31)
Read our Great Expectations (1946) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #31 to discuss David Lean’s atmospheric Dickens adaptation, Gothic horror, and Pip’s journey.
5 Greatest Baseball Players in Film History
Who are the greatest baseball players in film? We rank the top 5 celluloid superstars with extremely valid reasons for inclusion.
Review: M (Spine #30)
Read our M 1931 Criterion review. We revisit Spine #30 to discuss Fritz Lang’s first sound film, Peter Lorre’s monologue, and the sound of dread.
Worst Movie Theater Snacks
What are the worst movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema concessions that fail, from the “abomination” of Good & Plenty to the mess of nachos.
Reel Terror: Return of the Living Dead II Review
Read our Return of the Living Dead II review. We discuss the controversial shift to slapstick comedy, the return of James Karen and Thom Mathews, and that “Thriller” zombie.
Mannequin Review
Read our Mannequin review. We revisit this 80s classic to see if the romance between Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall still holds up today.
Hell Comes to Frogtown Review
Read our Hell Comes to Frogtown review. We dive into the amphibious absurdity of Roddy Piper as Sam Hell, mutant frog people, and post-apocalyptic chaos.
Reel Terror: The Curse Review
Read our The Curse review. We explore how this H.P. Lovecraft adaptation blends Lovecraftian dread with Lucio Fulci’s Italian splatter style.
The Last Dragon Review
Read our The Last Dragon review. We explore Berry Gordy’s ultimate “good-bad” hallucination, Sho’Nuff’s iconic quotes, and Leroy Green’s Glow.
Staying Alive Review
Read our Staying Alive review. We analyze the Sylvester Stallone-directed sequel to Saturday Night Fever, the sweaty performances, and the Bee Gees soundtrack.
Reel Terror: The Gate Review
Read our The Gate review. We look back at this cult horror classic, featuring ankle-biting demons, model rockets, and a young Stephen Dorff.
Best Movie Theater Snacks
What are the best movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema treats, from the “bucket of heart disease” popcorn to the magical mystery of Raisinets.
Review: Picnic at Hanging Rock (Spine #29)
Read our Picnic at Hanging Rock Criterion review. We revisit Spine #29 to discuss Peter Weir’s 1975 classic, its eerie atmosphere, and the beauty of the unsolved mystery.
Review: Blood for Dracula (Spine #28)
Read our Blood for Dracula Criterion review. We revisit Spine #28 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s cynical, art-house take on the dying aristocratic class and predatory heroes.
The Cinema Sanctuary: Why Movie Theaters Still Matter in a Digital Age
Read our latest Bold Take on why movie theaters still matter. We discuss the magic of the cinema sanctuary, physical media ownership, and the battle against streaming.
Review: Flesh for Frankenstein (Spine #27)
Read our Flesh for Frankenstein Criterion review. We revisit Spine #27 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s campy horror, Andy Warhol’s influence, and the vanity of the ruling class.
Review: The Long Good Friday (Spine #26)
Our analysis of Bob Hoskins in The Long Good Friday. Discover why his performance as a London crime boss facing the IRA ends with one of cinema’s greatest final shots.
Review: Alphaville (Spine #25)
Is it visionary or just pretentious? Our Jean-Luc Godard Alphaville analysis explains why this 1965 sci-fi film feels more like a full-length cologne commercial.
Review: High and Low (Spine #24)
Read our High and Low Criterion review. We revisit Spine #24 to discuss Kurosawa’s masterful police procedural, the ransom moral dilemma, and Toshiro Mifune.
Reel Terror: Blood Quantum Flips the Script on Infection, Even if the Drama Doesn’t Quite Stick
Read our Blood Quantum movie review. We analyze Jeff Barnaby’s unique zombie thriller where the Mi’gmaq reserve is the only safe place left on earth.
Review: Summertime (Spine #22)
Read our Summertime Criterion review. We revisit Spine #22 to discuss David Lean’s romance, Katharine Hepburn’s vulnerability, and the magic of Venice.
Review: Dead Ringers (Spine #21)
We revisit Dead Ringers to discuss Jeremy Irons’ dual performance, the “mutant women” tools, and Cronenberg’s clinical horror.
Review: Sid & Nancy (Spine #20)
Read our Sid & Nancy Criterion review. We revisit Spine #20 to discuss the “Romeo and Juliet of Punk,” Gary Oldman’s transformation, and the horror of addiction.
Review: Shock Corridor (Spine #19)
Read our Shock Corridor Criterion review. We revisit Spine #19 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s asylum thriller, the use of color hallucinations, and the hubris of sanity.
Review: The Naked Kiss (Spine #18)
Read our The Naked Kiss Criterion review. We revisit Spine #18 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s pulp masterpiece, the shocking opening, and suburban hypocrisy.
Review: Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (Criterion Collection Spine #17)
Read our Salo Criterion review. We revisit Spine #17 to discuss why this endurance test is the most disturbing film in the collection.
Review: Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island (Criterion Collection Spine #16)
Read our Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island Criterion review. We revisit Spine #16 to discuss the famous wooden oar duel and the melancholy end of the trilogy.
Review: Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (Criterion Collection Spine #15)
Read our Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple Criterion review. We revisit Spine #15 to discuss Musashi’s training montage, the strategy of the final battle, and his isolation.
Review: Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto (Criterion Collection Spine #14)
Read our Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto Criterion review. We revisit Spine #14 to discuss Toshiro Mifune’s vibrant origin story and the birth of a legend.
Reel Terror: ‘28 Years Later’ Is a Medieval Family Drama That Forgot the Rage
Read our 28 Years Later review. We analyze the medieval setting, the confusing zombie biology, and why this sequel forgot the rage.
Review: The Silence of the Lambs (Criterion Collection Spine #13)
Read our Silence of the Lambs Criterion review. We revisit Spine #13 to discuss the male gaze, Clarice Starling’s strength, and why empathy is her weapon.
Review: This Is Spinal Tap (Criterion Collection Spine #12)
Read our This Is Spinal Tap Criterion review. We revisit Spine #12 to discuss the art of the mockumentary, the Stonehenge disaster, and why this comedy is a technical marvel.
Review: The Seventh Seal (Criterion Collection Spine #11)
Read our The Seventh Seal Criterion review. We revisit Spine #11 to discuss why the chess game is just a delay tactic and why the Squire is the true hero.
Review: Walkabout (Criterion Collection Spine #10)
Read our Walkabout Criterion review. We revisit Spine #10, Nicolas Roeg’s visual masterpiece about the Australian Outback and the vastness of the void.
Movie Nunchaku Masters
“Fellow chucker, eh?” We compiled the definitive nunchaku masters list. See why Me, Myself & Irene made the cut alongside John Wick 4.
Review: Hard Boiled (Criterion Collection Spine #9)
Read our Hard Boiled Criterion review. We revisit Spine #9 to discuss John Woo’s explosive Hollywood audition and the famous hospital shootout.
Review: The Killer (Criterion Collection Spine #8)
Read our The Killer Criterion review. We revisit Spine #8 to discuss John Woo’s masterpiece of Heroic Bloodshed, the doves, and its massive influence on action cinema.
Review: A Night to Remember (Criterion Collection Spine #7)
Read our A Night to Remember Criterion review. We compare Spine #7 to James Cameron’s Titanic and explain why the 1958 version is the definitive historical record.
Review: Beauty and the Beast (Criterion Collection Spine #6)
Read our Beauty and the Beast Criterion review. We explore Spine #6, Jean Cocteau’s handmade magic, and why practical effects beat CGI every time.
Review: The 400 Blows (Criterion Collection Spine #5)
Read our The 400 Blows Criterion review. We revisit Spine #5, François Truffaut’s heartbreaking indictment of adult neglect and the famous final freeze-frame.
Review: Amarcord (Criterion Collection Spine #4)
Read our Amarcord Criterion review. We explore Spine #4, Federico Fellini’s carnival of memory, and why this film throws the narrative rulebook out the window.
Review: The Lady Vanishes (Criterion Collection Spine #3)
Read our The Lady Vanishes Criterion review. We revisit Spine #3 to discuss Hitchcock’s pre-Hollywood masterpiece, the cricket score, and the joy of a good MacGuffin.
Review: Seven Samurai (Criterion Collection Spine #2)
Read our Seven Samurai Criterion review. We explore Spine #2, breaking down the class struggle between ronin and farmers in Kurosawa’s epic.
Review: Grand Illusion (Criterion Collection Spine #1)
We revisit Grand Illusion, the film that started it all as Criterion Spine #1. Discover why Jean Renoir’s anti-war masterpiece is the perfect mission statement for the collection.
7 Best Movie Birthday Parties
Celebrate with the 7 best movie birthday parties of all time. From Uncle Buck’s giant pancakes to the horror of The Omen, we rank the wildest parties on film.
A Year in Film: My Favorite Movies of 2025
A year in review: I pick my favorite movies of 2025 (and the classics I revisited). From Napoleon Dynamite to The Substance, see which films defined my year.
Reel Terror: ‘Dead Heat’ Is the Buddy Cop Zombie Movie You Didn’t Know You Needed
We review Dead Heat (1988), the wild buddy cop zombie movie you didn’t know you needed. Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo fight the undead in this 80s cult gem.
Reel Terror: Why ‘Black Christmas’ Is the Crown Jewel of Holiday Horror
Is Black Christmas the best holiday horror movie ever made? We argue that Bob Clark’s masterpiece invented the slasher genre long before Halloween.
The Naughty List: 7 Examples of the Worst Holiday Movie Police
The Naughty List: We rank the 7 worst holiday movie police forces. From the negligence of Home Alone to the brutality of Silent Night, Deadly Night.
Reel Terror: Silent Night Deadly Night 2025 is a Lump of Coal with an Inner Monologue
Read our scathing Silent Night, Deadly Night review. We discuss why giving the killer an inner monologue turns this 2025 slasher into a boring mess.
The Last Up Scout: My Last Boy Scout and Up Theory
Read our proven The Last Boy Scout and Up theory. We present “empirical” evidence that Russell from Pixar’s Up is the grandson of Joe Hallenbeck.
REVIEW: ‘A Merry Little Ex-Mas’ Is a Bonkers Holiday Fever Dream
Read our honest A Merry Little Ex-Mas review. We break down Netflix’s bonkers holiday fever dream, from Alicia Silverstone’s acting to the random striptease.
Don’t Feel Guilty About Guilty Pleasure Movies
Why do we call them guilty pleasure movies? We argue it’s time to kill the term and start celebrating B-movies, Chopping Mall, and cinematic joy without shame.
9 Movie Villains Who Were Right (And You Know It)
We list 9 villains who were right all along. From Black Panther’s Killmonger to The Wizard of Oz, discover why the bad guys actually had a point.
My Secret Santa Review: A Taco Bell Menu Item of Holiday Movies (And That’s Fine)
Read our honest My Secret Santa review. We break down the absurdity of the “Hugh Mann” disguise and why this Netflix holiday film is just like the others.
Most Jarringly Tragic Scene Ever
We analyze the An American Werewolf in London ending, arguing it is the most jarringly tragic scene in film history. Discover why that hard cut still stuns audiences.
The Naughty and The Nice: The Best and Worst Movie Santas of All Time
The Naughty and The Nice: We rank the Best and Worst Movie Santas of all time. From Miracle on 34th Street to Santa’s Slay, see who made the cut.
7 Forgotten 90s Movies That Still Hold Up Surprisingly Well
Discover 7 forgotten 90s movies that still hold up surprisingly well.
7 Movies That Hit Different When You’re Over 40
Turning 46 changed everything. Here are 7 Movies That Hit Different when you realize The Incredibles is actually a documentary about back pain.
The Holy Heist: Why ‘Ghost’ is Actually the Secret Prequel to ‘Sister Act’
Read the theory on why Ghost is the prequel to Sister Act. I break down the “Whoopi Goldberg Cinematic Universe” and why Oda Mae Brown is actually pulling a $4 million heist.
Greatest Movie Villain – Hands Down
Move over, Thanos. We declare a new greatest movie villain of all time. Read why this bowling baddie takes the crown.
25 Cinematic Movie Gifts That Are Better (Or Worse) Than What You’re Getting
Unwrap the 25 best cinematic movie gifts of all time. We rank the wildest presents ever exchanged on film.
Top 10 Performances You Forgot Were Oscar-Worthy
Discover the top 10 Oscar-worthy performances that the Academy snubbed.
Best Movie Theater Snacks
What are the best movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema treats, from the “bucket of heart disease” popcorn to the magical mystery of Raisinets.
The Cinema Sanctuary: Why Movie Theaters Still Matter in a Digital Age
Read our latest Bold Take on why movie theaters still matter. We discuss the magic of the cinema sanctuary, physical media ownership, and the battle against streaming.
Don’t Feel Guilty About Guilty Pleasure Movies
Why do we call them guilty pleasure movies? We argue it’s time to kill the term and start celebrating B-movies, Chopping Mall, and cinematic joy without shame.
The Holy Heist: Why ‘Ghost’ is Actually the Secret Prequel to ‘Sister Act’
Read the theory on why Ghost is the prequel to Sister Act. I break down the “Whoopi Goldberg Cinematic Universe” and why Oda Mae Brown is actually pulling a $4 million heist.
Worst Movie Theater Snacks
What are the worst movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema concessions that fail, from the “abomination” of Good & Plenty to the mess of nachos.
Best Movie Theater Snacks
What are the best movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema treats, from the “bucket of heart disease” popcorn to the magical mystery of Raisinets.
Movie Nunchaku Masters
“Fellow chucker, eh?” We compiled the definitive nunchaku masters list. See why Me, Myself & Irene made the cut alongside John Wick 4.
7 Best Movie Birthday Parties
Celebrate with the 7 best movie birthday parties of all time. From Uncle Buck’s giant pancakes to the horror of The Omen, we rank the wildest parties on film.
The Last Up Scout: My Last Boy Scout and Up Theory
Read our proven The Last Boy Scout and Up theory. We present “empirical” evidence that Russell from Pixar’s Up is the grandson of Joe Hallenbeck.
Most Jarringly Tragic Scene Ever
We analyze the An American Werewolf in London ending, arguing it is the most jarringly tragic scene in film history. Discover why that hard cut still stuns audiences.
Greatest Movie Villain – Hands Down
Move over, Thanos. We declare a new greatest movie villain of all time. Read why this bowling baddie takes the crown.
5 Greatest Baseball Players in Film History
Who are the greatest baseball players in film? We rank the top 5 celluloid superstars with extremely valid reasons for inclusion.
Best Movie Theater Snacks
What are the best movie theater snacks? We rank the top 10 cinema treats, from the “bucket of heart disease” popcorn to the magical mystery of Raisinets.
Movie Nunchaku Masters
“Fellow chucker, eh?” We compiled the definitive nunchaku masters list. See why Me, Myself & Irene made the cut alongside John Wick 4.
7 Best Movie Birthday Parties
Celebrate with the 7 best movie birthday parties of all time. From Uncle Buck’s giant pancakes to the horror of The Omen, we rank the wildest parties on film.
A Year in Film: My Favorite Movies of 2025
A year in review: I pick my favorite movies of 2025 (and the classics I revisited). From Napoleon Dynamite to The Substance, see which films defined my year.
The Naughty List: 7 Examples of the Worst Holiday Movie Police
The Naughty List: We rank the 7 worst holiday movie police forces. From the negligence of Home Alone to the brutality of Silent Night, Deadly Night.
9 Movie Villains Who Were Right (And You Know It)
We list 9 villains who were right all along. From Black Panther’s Killmonger to The Wizard of Oz, discover why the bad guys actually had a point.
The Naughty and The Nice: The Best and Worst Movie Santas of All Time
The Naughty and The Nice: We rank the Best and Worst Movie Santas of all time. From Miracle on 34th Street to Santa’s Slay, see who made the cut.
7 Forgotten 90s Movies That Still Hold Up Surprisingly Well
Discover 7 forgotten 90s movies that still hold up surprisingly well.
7 Movies That Hit Different When You’re Over 40
Turning 46 changed everything. Here are 7 Movies That Hit Different when you realize The Incredibles is actually a documentary about back pain.
25 Cinematic Movie Gifts That Are Better (Or Worse) Than What You’re Getting
Unwrap the 25 best cinematic movie gifts of all time. We rank the wildest presents ever exchanged on film.
Top 10 Performances You Forgot Were Oscar-Worthy
Discover the top 10 Oscar-worthy performances that the Academy snubbed.
Reel Terror: My Bloody Valentine Review
Read our My Bloody Valentine review. We explore the ultimate holiday slasher, the legend of Harry Warden, and why the “pickaxe” is the genre’s most underrated weapon.
Reel Terror: The Beast Within Review
Read our The Beast Within review. We explore this brutal 80s body horror film, its surprising plot twists, and why it’s more than just a werewolf movie.
Night Patrol Review
Read our Night Patrol review. We analyze Jackie Kong’s “truly dreadful” comedy, the tasteless jokes, and why it’s more of a punishment than a film.
Reel Terror: Invaders from Mars Review
Read our Invaders from Mars review. We look back at Tobe Hooper’s remake, featuring Giger-like alien designs, nightmarish teachers, and childhood terror.
Moonraker Review
Read our Moonraker review. We discuss why Roger Moore’s Bond adventure in space is a franchise lemon, featuring Hugo Drax, Jaws, and Dr. Holly Goodhead.
Reel Terror: Saturday the 14th Review
Read our Saturday the 14th review. We revisit the 1981 horror-comedy spoof to discuss the deadpan puns, the “cursed” house, and why it’s painfully average.
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 Review
Read our The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 review. We discuss the transition from the arena to the rebellion, Jennifer Lawrence’s performance, and the power of propaganda.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan Review
Read our Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan review. We explore why this 1982 masterpiece is the franchise’s crown jewel, featuring Spock’s sacrifice and Khan’s legendary rivalry.
Review: Oliver Twist (Spine #32)
Read our Oliver Twist (1948) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #32 to discuss David Lean’s “Noir Dickens” style, Alec Guinness as Fagin, and the terror of Bill Sikes.
Review: Great Expectations (Spine #31)
Read our Great Expectations (1946) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #31 to discuss David Lean’s atmospheric Dickens adaptation, Gothic horror, and Pip’s journey.
Review: M (Spine #30)
Read our M 1931 Criterion review. We revisit Spine #30 to discuss Fritz Lang’s first sound film, Peter Lorre’s monologue, and the sound of dread.
Reel Terror: Return of the Living Dead II Review
Read our Return of the Living Dead II review. We discuss the controversial shift to slapstick comedy, the return of James Karen and Thom Mathews, and that “Thriller” zombie.
Mannequin Review
Read our Mannequin review. We revisit this 80s classic to see if the romance between Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall still holds up today.
Hell Comes to Frogtown Review
Read our Hell Comes to Frogtown review. We dive into the amphibious absurdity of Roddy Piper as Sam Hell, mutant frog people, and post-apocalyptic chaos.
Reel Terror: The Curse Review
Read our The Curse review. We explore how this H.P. Lovecraft adaptation blends Lovecraftian dread with Lucio Fulci’s Italian splatter style.
The Last Dragon Review
Read our The Last Dragon review. We explore Berry Gordy’s ultimate “good-bad” hallucination, Sho’Nuff’s iconic quotes, and Leroy Green’s Glow.
Staying Alive Review
Read our Staying Alive review. We analyze the Sylvester Stallone-directed sequel to Saturday Night Fever, the sweaty performances, and the Bee Gees soundtrack.
Reel Terror: The Gate Review
Read our The Gate review. We look back at this cult horror classic, featuring ankle-biting demons, model rockets, and a young Stephen Dorff.
Review: Picnic at Hanging Rock (Spine #29)
Read our Picnic at Hanging Rock Criterion review. We revisit Spine #29 to discuss Peter Weir’s 1975 classic, its eerie atmosphere, and the beauty of the unsolved mystery.
Review: Blood for Dracula (Spine #28)
Read our Blood for Dracula Criterion review. We revisit Spine #28 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s cynical, art-house take on the dying aristocratic class and predatory heroes.
Review: Flesh for Frankenstein (Spine #27)
Read our Flesh for Frankenstein Criterion review. We revisit Spine #27 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s campy horror, Andy Warhol’s influence, and the vanity of the ruling class.
Review: The Long Good Friday (Spine #26)
Our analysis of Bob Hoskins in The Long Good Friday. Discover why his performance as a London crime boss facing the IRA ends with one of cinema’s greatest final shots.
Review: Alphaville (Spine #25)
Is it visionary or just pretentious? Our Jean-Luc Godard Alphaville analysis explains why this 1965 sci-fi film feels more like a full-length cologne commercial.
Review: High and Low (Spine #24)
Read our High and Low Criterion review. We revisit Spine #24 to discuss Kurosawa’s masterful police procedural, the ransom moral dilemma, and Toshiro Mifune.
Reel Terror: Blood Quantum Flips the Script on Infection, Even if the Drama Doesn’t Quite Stick
Read our Blood Quantum movie review. We analyze Jeff Barnaby’s unique zombie thriller where the Mi’gmaq reserve is the only safe place left on earth.
Review: Summertime (Spine #22)
Read our Summertime Criterion review. We revisit Spine #22 to discuss David Lean’s romance, Katharine Hepburn’s vulnerability, and the magic of Venice.
Review: Dead Ringers (Spine #21)
We revisit Dead Ringers to discuss Jeremy Irons’ dual performance, the “mutant women” tools, and Cronenberg’s clinical horror.
Review: Sid & Nancy (Spine #20)
Read our Sid & Nancy Criterion review. We revisit Spine #20 to discuss the “Romeo and Juliet of Punk,” Gary Oldman’s transformation, and the horror of addiction.
Review: Shock Corridor (Spine #19)
Read our Shock Corridor Criterion review. We revisit Spine #19 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s asylum thriller, the use of color hallucinations, and the hubris of sanity.
Review: The Naked Kiss (Spine #18)
Read our The Naked Kiss Criterion review. We revisit Spine #18 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s pulp masterpiece, the shocking opening, and suburban hypocrisy.
Review: Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (Criterion Collection Spine #17)
Read our Salo Criterion review. We revisit Spine #17 to discuss why this endurance test is the most disturbing film in the collection.
Review: Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island (Criterion Collection Spine #16)
Read our Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island Criterion review. We revisit Spine #16 to discuss the famous wooden oar duel and the melancholy end of the trilogy.
Review: Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (Criterion Collection Spine #15)
Read our Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple Criterion review. We revisit Spine #15 to discuss Musashi’s training montage, the strategy of the final battle, and his isolation.
Review: Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto (Criterion Collection Spine #14)
Read our Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto Criterion review. We revisit Spine #14 to discuss Toshiro Mifune’s vibrant origin story and the birth of a legend.
Reel Terror: ‘28 Years Later’ Is a Medieval Family Drama That Forgot the Rage
Read our 28 Years Later review. We analyze the medieval setting, the confusing zombie biology, and why this sequel forgot the rage.
Review: The Silence of the Lambs (Criterion Collection Spine #13)
Read our Silence of the Lambs Criterion review. We revisit Spine #13 to discuss the male gaze, Clarice Starling’s strength, and why empathy is her weapon.
Review: This Is Spinal Tap (Criterion Collection Spine #12)
Read our This Is Spinal Tap Criterion review. We revisit Spine #12 to discuss the art of the mockumentary, the Stonehenge disaster, and why this comedy is a technical marvel.
Review: The Seventh Seal (Criterion Collection Spine #11)
Read our The Seventh Seal Criterion review. We revisit Spine #11 to discuss why the chess game is just a delay tactic and why the Squire is the true hero.
Review: Walkabout (Criterion Collection Spine #10)
Read our Walkabout Criterion review. We revisit Spine #10, Nicolas Roeg’s visual masterpiece about the Australian Outback and the vastness of the void.
Review: Hard Boiled (Criterion Collection Spine #9)
Read our Hard Boiled Criterion review. We revisit Spine #9 to discuss John Woo’s explosive Hollywood audition and the famous hospital shootout.
Review: The Killer (Criterion Collection Spine #8)
Read our The Killer Criterion review. We revisit Spine #8 to discuss John Woo’s masterpiece of Heroic Bloodshed, the doves, and its massive influence on action cinema.
Review: A Night to Remember (Criterion Collection Spine #7)
Read our A Night to Remember Criterion review. We compare Spine #7 to James Cameron’s Titanic and explain why the 1958 version is the definitive historical record.
Review: Beauty and the Beast (Criterion Collection Spine #6)
Read our Beauty and the Beast Criterion review. We explore Spine #6, Jean Cocteau’s handmade magic, and why practical effects beat CGI every time.
Review: The 400 Blows (Criterion Collection Spine #5)
Read our The 400 Blows Criterion review. We revisit Spine #5, François Truffaut’s heartbreaking indictment of adult neglect and the famous final freeze-frame.
Review: Amarcord (Criterion Collection Spine #4)
Read our Amarcord Criterion review. We explore Spine #4, Federico Fellini’s carnival of memory, and why this film throws the narrative rulebook out the window.
Review: The Lady Vanishes (Criterion Collection Spine #3)
Read our The Lady Vanishes Criterion review. We revisit Spine #3 to discuss Hitchcock’s pre-Hollywood masterpiece, the cricket score, and the joy of a good MacGuffin.
Review: Seven Samurai (Criterion Collection Spine #2)
Read our Seven Samurai Criterion review. We explore Spine #2, breaking down the class struggle between ronin and farmers in Kurosawa’s epic.
Review: Grand Illusion (Criterion Collection Spine #1)
We revisit Grand Illusion, the film that started it all as Criterion Spine #1. Discover why Jean Renoir’s anti-war masterpiece is the perfect mission statement for the collection.
Reel Terror: ‘Dead Heat’ Is the Buddy Cop Zombie Movie You Didn’t Know You Needed
We review Dead Heat (1988), the wild buddy cop zombie movie you didn’t know you needed. Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo fight the undead in this 80s cult gem.
Reel Terror: Why ‘Black Christmas’ Is the Crown Jewel of Holiday Horror
Is Black Christmas the best holiday horror movie ever made? We argue that Bob Clark’s masterpiece invented the slasher genre long before Halloween.
Reel Terror: Silent Night Deadly Night 2025 is a Lump of Coal with an Inner Monologue
Read our scathing Silent Night, Deadly Night review. We discuss why giving the killer an inner monologue turns this 2025 slasher into a boring mess.
REVIEW: ‘A Merry Little Ex-Mas’ Is a Bonkers Holiday Fever Dream
Read our honest A Merry Little Ex-Mas review. We break down Netflix’s bonkers holiday fever dream, from Alicia Silverstone’s acting to the random striptease.
My Secret Santa Review: A Taco Bell Menu Item of Holiday Movies (And That’s Fine)
Read our honest My Secret Santa review. We break down the absurdity of the “Hugh Mann” disguise and why this Netflix holiday film is just like the others.
Reel Terror: My Bloody Valentine Review
Read our My Bloody Valentine review. We explore the ultimate holiday slasher, the legend of Harry Warden, and why the “pickaxe” is the genre’s most underrated weapon.
Reel Terror: The Beast Within Review
Read our The Beast Within review. We explore this brutal 80s body horror film, its surprising plot twists, and why it’s more than just a werewolf movie.
Reel Terror: Invaders from Mars Review
Read our Invaders from Mars review. We look back at Tobe Hooper’s remake, featuring Giger-like alien designs, nightmarish teachers, and childhood terror.
Reel Terror: Saturday the 14th Review
Read our Saturday the 14th review. We revisit the 1981 horror-comedy spoof to discuss the deadpan puns, the “cursed” house, and why it’s painfully average.
Reel Terror: Return of the Living Dead II Review
Read our Return of the Living Dead II review. We discuss the controversial shift to slapstick comedy, the return of James Karen and Thom Mathews, and that “Thriller” zombie.
Reel Terror: The Curse Review
Read our The Curse review. We explore how this H.P. Lovecraft adaptation blends Lovecraftian dread with Lucio Fulci’s Italian splatter style.
Reel Terror: The Gate Review
Read our The Gate review. We look back at this cult horror classic, featuring ankle-biting demons, model rockets, and a young Stephen Dorff.
Reel Terror: Blood Quantum Flips the Script on Infection, Even if the Drama Doesn’t Quite Stick
Read our Blood Quantum movie review. We analyze Jeff Barnaby’s unique zombie thriller where the Mi’gmaq reserve is the only safe place left on earth.
Reel Terror: ‘28 Years Later’ Is a Medieval Family Drama That Forgot the Rage
Read our 28 Years Later review. We analyze the medieval setting, the confusing zombie biology, and why this sequel forgot the rage.
Reel Terror: ‘Dead Heat’ Is the Buddy Cop Zombie Movie You Didn’t Know You Needed
We review Dead Heat (1988), the wild buddy cop zombie movie you didn’t know you needed. Treat Williams and Joe Piscopo fight the undead in this 80s cult gem.
Reel Terror: Why ‘Black Christmas’ Is the Crown Jewel of Holiday Horror
Is Black Christmas the best holiday horror movie ever made? We argue that Bob Clark’s masterpiece invented the slasher genre long before Halloween.
Reel Terror: Silent Night Deadly Night 2025 is a Lump of Coal with an Inner Monologue
Read our scathing Silent Night, Deadly Night review. We discuss why giving the killer an inner monologue turns this 2025 slasher into a boring mess.
Review: Oliver Twist (Spine #32)
Read our Oliver Twist (1948) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #32 to discuss David Lean’s “Noir Dickens” style, Alec Guinness as Fagin, and the terror of Bill Sikes.
Review: Great Expectations (Spine #31)
Read our Great Expectations (1946) Criterion review. We revisit Spine #31 to discuss David Lean’s atmospheric Dickens adaptation, Gothic horror, and Pip’s journey.
Review: M (Spine #30)
Read our M 1931 Criterion review. We revisit Spine #30 to discuss Fritz Lang’s first sound film, Peter Lorre’s monologue, and the sound of dread.
Review: Picnic at Hanging Rock (Spine #29)
Read our Picnic at Hanging Rock Criterion review. We revisit Spine #29 to discuss Peter Weir’s 1975 classic, its eerie atmosphere, and the beauty of the unsolved mystery.
Review: Blood for Dracula (Spine #28)
Read our Blood for Dracula Criterion review. We revisit Spine #28 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s cynical, art-house take on the dying aristocratic class and predatory heroes.
Review: Flesh for Frankenstein (Spine #27)
Read our Flesh for Frankenstein Criterion review. We revisit Spine #27 to discuss Paul Morrissey’s campy horror, Andy Warhol’s influence, and the vanity of the ruling class.
Review: The Long Good Friday (Spine #26)
Our analysis of Bob Hoskins in The Long Good Friday. Discover why his performance as a London crime boss facing the IRA ends with one of cinema’s greatest final shots.
Review: Alphaville (Spine #25)
Is it visionary or just pretentious? Our Jean-Luc Godard Alphaville analysis explains why this 1965 sci-fi film feels more like a full-length cologne commercial.
Review: High and Low (Spine #24)
Read our High and Low Criterion review. We revisit Spine #24 to discuss Kurosawa’s masterful police procedural, the ransom moral dilemma, and Toshiro Mifune.
Review: Summertime (Spine #22)
Read our Summertime Criterion review. We revisit Spine #22 to discuss David Lean’s romance, Katharine Hepburn’s vulnerability, and the magic of Venice.
Review: Dead Ringers (Spine #21)
We revisit Dead Ringers to discuss Jeremy Irons’ dual performance, the “mutant women” tools, and Cronenberg’s clinical horror.
Review: Sid & Nancy (Spine #20)
Read our Sid & Nancy Criterion review. We revisit Spine #20 to discuss the “Romeo and Juliet of Punk,” Gary Oldman’s transformation, and the horror of addiction.
Review: Shock Corridor (Spine #19)
Read our Shock Corridor Criterion review. We revisit Spine #19 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s asylum thriller, the use of color hallucinations, and the hubris of sanity.
Review: The Naked Kiss (Spine #18)
Read our The Naked Kiss Criterion review. We revisit Spine #18 to discuss Samuel Fuller’s pulp masterpiece, the shocking opening, and suburban hypocrisy.
Review: Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom (Criterion Collection Spine #17)
Read our Salo Criterion review. We revisit Spine #17 to discuss why this endurance test is the most disturbing film in the collection.
Review: Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island (Criterion Collection Spine #16)
Read our Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island Criterion review. We revisit Spine #16 to discuss the famous wooden oar duel and the melancholy end of the trilogy.
Review: Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (Criterion Collection Spine #15)
Read our Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple Criterion review. We revisit Spine #15 to discuss Musashi’s training montage, the strategy of the final battle, and his isolation.
Review: Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto (Criterion Collection Spine #14)
Read our Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto Criterion review. We revisit Spine #14 to discuss Toshiro Mifune’s vibrant origin story and the birth of a legend.
Review: The Silence of the Lambs (Criterion Collection Spine #13)
Read our Silence of the Lambs Criterion review. We revisit Spine #13 to discuss the male gaze, Clarice Starling’s strength, and why empathy is her weapon.
Review: This Is Spinal Tap (Criterion Collection Spine #12)
Read our This Is Spinal Tap Criterion review. We revisit Spine #12 to discuss the art of the mockumentary, the Stonehenge disaster, and why this comedy is a technical marvel.
Review: The Seventh Seal (Criterion Collection Spine #11)
Read our The Seventh Seal Criterion review. We revisit Spine #11 to discuss why the chess game is just a delay tactic and why the Squire is the true hero.
Review: Walkabout (Criterion Collection Spine #10)
Read our Walkabout Criterion review. We revisit Spine #10, Nicolas Roeg’s visual masterpiece about the Australian Outback and the vastness of the void.
Review: Hard Boiled (Criterion Collection Spine #9)
Read our Hard Boiled Criterion review. We revisit Spine #9 to discuss John Woo’s explosive Hollywood audition and the famous hospital shootout.
Review: The Killer (Criterion Collection Spine #8)
Read our The Killer Criterion review. We revisit Spine #8 to discuss John Woo’s masterpiece of Heroic Bloodshed, the doves, and its massive influence on action cinema.
Review: A Night to Remember (Criterion Collection Spine #7)
Read our A Night to Remember Criterion review. We compare Spine #7 to James Cameron’s Titanic and explain why the 1958 version is the definitive historical record.
Review: Beauty and the Beast (Criterion Collection Spine #6)
Read our Beauty and the Beast Criterion review. We explore Spine #6, Jean Cocteau’s handmade magic, and why practical effects beat CGI every time.
Review: The 400 Blows (Criterion Collection Spine #5)
Read our The 400 Blows Criterion review. We revisit Spine #5, François Truffaut’s heartbreaking indictment of adult neglect and the famous final freeze-frame.
Review: Amarcord (Criterion Collection Spine #4)
Read our Amarcord Criterion review. We explore Spine #4, Federico Fellini’s carnival of memory, and why this film throws the narrative rulebook out the window.
Review: The Lady Vanishes (Criterion Collection Spine #3)
Read our The Lady Vanishes Criterion review. We revisit Spine #3 to discuss Hitchcock’s pre-Hollywood masterpiece, the cricket score, and the joy of a good MacGuffin.
Review: Seven Samurai (Criterion Collection Spine #2)
Read our Seven Samurai Criterion review. We explore Spine #2, breaking down the class struggle between ronin and farmers in Kurosawa’s epic.
Review: Grand Illusion (Criterion Collection Spine #1)
We revisit Grand Illusion, the film that started it all as Criterion Spine #1. Discover why Jean Renoir’s anti-war masterpiece is the perfect mission statement for the collection.
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