Don't Tell Her It's Me

Episode 234: Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)

Theme: Jamie Gertz Month Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis dust off a 1990 oddity from the depths of their HBO-fueled childhoods. It’s Don’t Tell Her It’s Me (also known as The Boyfriend School), a movie that proves if you aren’t finding love as a balding, depressed cartoonist, you just need your meddling sister to turn you into a leather-clad "Kiwi" named Lobo. Join the hosts as they discuss Steve Guttenberg’s questionable New Zealand accent, the sheer audacity of 80s gaslighting, and a version of Charleston that is apparently small enough for a "missed connection" at the only gas station in town.

The hosts break down:

• Gus (Steve Guttenberg): A recovering Hodgkin’s patient who goes from "blobfish" to "Lobo Marunga" in a single montage, proving that superficiality is the real hero of the story.

• Lizzie (Shelley Long): A romance novelist and master manipulator who runs a con on a local reporter that would probably be classified as a felony in most states today.

• Emily (Jamie Gertz): A writer for "Word" magazine who is looking for an unpolished gem but settles for a man with a dangling earring and a very suspicious tan.

• The Transformation: Featuring a training montage that somehow ignores the laws of hair growth, muscle density, and general human biology.

• The Ancillary Weirdness: A cast of characters including a silent child who sucks on oily bolts and a family dog with "big dog energy" that the editors clearly forgot to crop out.

Final Verdict:

Oz — 44 Blue Contacts
Curtis — 42 Maori Totems