Ouija

Episode 244: Ouija (2014)

Theme: Board Game Month
Hosts: Oz & Curtis (with special guest Kayleigh Jensen)

This week, Oz and Curtis invite horror expert Kayleigh Jensen from the Glitter and Gore podcast to help close out Board Game Month with the incredibly dim, highly lucrative 2014 supernatural hit, Ouija. It’s a film that follows a group of high schoolers (played by actors who look old enough to be off their parents' health insurance) who decide that the best way to process their best friend’s suicide is to play around with a Parker Brothers board game. Join the crew as they break down the structural integrity of a porcelain sink basin, the vacation prices post-funeral, and why the ultimate rule of the occult is simply to be polite and say goodbye.

The hosts break down:

• Layne Morris (Olivia Cooke): A loud-thinking sleuth who bypasses traditional police investigations to solve a historical haunting via a single, highly convenient Google search.

• The Rules of the Board: A foundational narrative setup where the characters aggressively look the audience in the eye, recite the three core safety laws, and then immediately proceed to break every single one of them.

• The "Hi Friend" Phenomenon: An acoustic, subterranean exploration featuring a high school jock riding a bicycle down an aqueduct in a letterman jacket while being stalked by a rogue piece of sidewalk chalk.

• Isabel's Sink Encounter: A PSA for dental hygiene and sudden, white-eyed possession that tests the limits of porcelain impact safety while leaving the bathroom plumbing entirely compromised.

• The Drywall Mystery: A profound architectural investigation into why a historical serial killer would hire a professional contractor to properly spackle and frame a secret crawlspace lair.

Final Verdict:

Oz — Kate Planchette
Curtis — 27 Lin Sheas
Kayleigh — Just No.