The Knight Before Christmas

Episode 8: The Knight Before Christmas (2019)

Theme: Hallmark-esque Christmas Movies
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis strap on their chainmail, polish their emotional support swords, and plunge into The Knight Before Christmas — the Netflix time-travel rom-com that asks:
“What if a 14th-century himbo knight fell in love with a modern-day Ohio teacher with zero boundaries?”

Join your two favorite Yuletide masochists as they unravel:

• Why Brookes’s approach to teaching seems to be: “Therapy first, social studies maybe later.”

• How Sir Cole adjusts to 2019 Ohio with the ease of a dude who’s clearly seen Wi-Fi before.

• The undeniable fact that Vanessa Hudgens is acting her butt off while her romantic lead is delivering pure community-theater matinee energy.

• The annual Netflix Christmas Universe cameo, proving once again that Aldovia is the Kevin Bacon of cheap holiday romances.

• The world’s most uncomfortable charity scene featuring poor David and his half-orphans, which might be the most unintentionally cruel moment in Hallmark-adjacent history.

• And of course, the magical Old Crone, who appears to be running a one-woman medieval matchmaking service from behind random trees.

From enchanted fog machines to unsolicited swordplay to the most PG-13 towel scene ever filmed, Oz and Curtis attempt to decode the logic of a movie where time travel is totally normal but workplace ethics are optional.

Final Verdict:

Oz — Three nights of community theater
Curtis — Twelve professional educator ethics violations
Both — Permanently banned from the Christmas Castle.