Episode 25: Children of the Corn (1984)

Theme: Creepy Kids in Movies
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis wade knee-deep into Children of the Corn — the 1984 classic that boldly asks:
“What if a town had absolutely no adults, terrible agricultural planning, and one red-headed cult leader who looks like he bites?”

Join your two favorite honorary Outlanders as they hack their way through:

• Malachi, the human siren alarm, whose mouth is so big he could probably eat a whole corn cob sideways.

• Isaac, the 12-year-old cult leader played by a 24-year-old man who looks like he’s training to become the assistant manager at a haunted Cracker Barrel.

• The Gatlin town rulebook, which includes:
  No adults. No fun. No buttons. No birthdays past 18. Unlimited murder. Unlimited corn.

• Why Vicky’s attempt at “seductive singing” is actually the scariest part of the movie — and that includes the demon in the field.

• How Burt sprints through this entire film like he’s auditioning for the Nebraska Cornbelt Olympics.

• And the lingering mystery: Who is planting all this corn?!

From psychic crayon drawings to corn-based weaponry to a demon whose powers seem to fluctuate depending on the weather, Oz and Curtis peel back one of the goofiest, dumbest, most entertaining 80s horror movies ever stitched together with $800,000 and a dream.

Final Verdict:

Oz — Six blood splatters
Curtis — 58 corn husks
Both — Still refusing to drive through Nebraska after dark.