This week, Oz and Curtis kick off the holidays with a movie marriage that sounds like it was scribbled on a gas-station receipt: Bad Santa meets Rankin/Bass with a whole lot of “remember the Jerky Boys?” The result? Santa’s Slay — the only Christmas movie where Goldberg plays Satan’s son, kills James Caan before the opening credits, and spends the rest of the runtime trying to murder two teenagers who look profoundly bored by the whole situation.
Join your two favorite members of the Let’s Talk About Flix-verse as they unpack:
How the film blows its entire budget killing Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan, and James Caan in 90 seconds — and somehow peaks right there.
Why Goldberg plays Santa like he’s doing community theater for people who only speak in wrestling promos.
How the teen leads display the emotional range of two people waiting for their Uber Eats order.
Why Grandpa’s bunker, inventions, and sudden angel backstory feel like they were written during a NyQuil binge.
How the finale devolves into a Canadian high-school Zamboni chase, a curling rematch, divine intervention, and a bazooka — all delivered with the confidence of a movie that absolutely should not have this much confidence.
From deli-counter spearings to strip-club massacres, from hell-deer hit-and-runs to the most abrupt ending since Ready to Rumble, Oz and Curtis slog through a holiday horror-comedy that somehow manages to be stupid, loud, offensive, and… kind of fun?
Final Verdict
Oz — 5 Zambonis Curtis — 34 Spears Through a Deli Counter Both — Still confused why the book of Claws existed.
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