This week, Oz and Curtis kick off War Month with Lord of War — the movie that asks, “What if Con Air met The Last King of Scotland at an NRA convention… then introduced themselves as small-business owners?”
Your two favorite arms-dealer apologists break down:
The Movie Marriage:Con Air × The Last King of Scotland × Thank You for Smoking (but only the smug parts).
Yuri Orlov: Nicolas Cage at his calmest, cagiest, and most Ukrainian-by-way-of-California.
Vitali: Jared Leto proving once again that Hollywood keeps casting Jared Leto for reasons science cannot yet explain.
Jack Valentine: Ethan Hawke as the only man alive who arrests politely.
Andre Baptiste: A warlord who misunderstands every compound word but absolutely understands murder.
Ava: A trophy wife so shiny she blinds herself to literally everything.
The Business Model: Sell guns to everyone. Avoid consequences always. Narrate constantly.
The Highway Landing: A plane, a dirt road, 10,000 guns, and the fastest looting montage in cinema history.
The Message: Governments say guns are bad… while buying all the good ones.
Final Verdict:
Oz — 47 AK-47s Curtis — All the Guns
Next week: Brad Pitt outruns the undead, airline safety, and basic plot logic in World War Z. Buckle up — things get fast.
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