Street Fighter

Episode 159: Street Fighter (1994)

Theme: Video Game Movie Month
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis button-mash their way through Street Fighter — the only adaptation bold enough to stir Apocalypse Now, Winter Soldier, American Ninja, The Addams Family, and the fluorescent hum of a Sears electronics department into one cinematic combo meal. The plot is nonsense, the cast is enormous, and Jean-Claude Van Damme is powered entirely by patriotism and $10,000 of cocaine per week. It’s glorious.

Join your two favorite half-charged Hadouken practitioners as they unpack:

• How Colonel Guile’s “American hero” persona is delivered in the thickest Belgian accent ever recorded on film.

• Why M. Bison’s world domination plan involves bison-themed currency, Magneto powers, and an OSHA-approved monologuing platform.

• Chun-Li’s revenge arc, complete with stealth puns, costume changes, and a stealth tracker that sounds like a malfunctioning smoke alarm.

• The saga of Ken and Ryu, two con men who accidentally become plot glue while competing with Vega for the Best Hair Award.

• Zangief, DJ, and the greatest line delivery in gaming film history: “Quick! Change the channel!”

From stealth boats with visible wakes to Blanca’s sad ecto-cooler glow-up, from bison bucks to bad guy improv comedy, Oz and Curtis break down a movie that’s less “martial arts adaptation” and more “coked-up Saturday morning cartoon with a Hollywood budget.”

Final Verdict

Oz — 16 original Street Fighters
Curtis — 54 Hadoukens
Both — Still unsure why a movie called Street Fighter involves almost zero actual streets.