Resident Evil

Episode 160: Resident Evil (2002)

Theme: Video Game Movie Month
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis stumble into Resident Evil — the movie that asks, “What if The Bourne Identity, Cube, Day of the Dead, and Alice in Wonderland all got trapped in a stainless-steel hallway with a strobe light and a Marilyn Manson soundtrack?” It’s a film where everything is happening and absolutely nothing is happening at the same time. Amnesia, lasers, Fruit-by-the-Foot dogs, and an AI child hologram all collide in a plot that feels less like a screenplay and more like someone hitting the “random encounter” generator every four minutes.

Join your two favorite Umbrella Corporation whistleblowers as they unpack:

• How Alice remembers her memories exactly when the plot needs her to — never a moment sooner.

• The laser-grid hallway, which turns the cast into waffle fries with all the emotional weight of a malfunctioning Roomba.

• Why half the characters exist solely to yell exposition before being eaten, diced, or licked.

• The liquors: the genetically engineered monsters who look like wet beef jerky with dental problems.

• How the entire movie plays like a video game cutscene you can’t skip — run, shoot, door, corridor, run, shoot, door.

From endless shiny hallways to zombies who politely wait for eye contact before attacking, Oz and Curtis break down a movie that somehow earned a 6.6 on IMDb and spawned a six-film franchise. It’s noisy, it’s slick, it’s deeply dumb — but at least it’s never boring enough to fall asleep in the shower.

Final Verdict

Oz — 3 dog costumes
Curtis — 4 Fruit by the Feet
Both — Still wondering if “remembering your memories” is covered in the Umbrella employee handbook.