This week, Oz and Curtis dive headfirst into a movie marriage so chaotic it should’ve been left in the Mariana Trench: Jaws meets Titanic, with a splash of Jurassic Park and just a pinch of Girls Gone Wild. All of it wrapped in a film that feels like it was shot during Spring Break at the Wisconsin Dells. The result? Deep Blue Sea — the only movie brave enough to ask, “What if sharks got smarter… but humans didn’t?”
Join your two favorite members of the Let’s Talk About Flix-verse as they unpack:
How Carter Blake is basically Tommy Bartlett with abs, riding sharks like he’s headlining a Dells water show stunt spectacular.
Why Dr. Susan McAllister has the emotional presence of a cardboard cutout but the decision-making skills of an unmedicated Bond villain.
How the Gen-2 mega-shark is somehow part Einstein, part Jason Voorhees, and part Kool-Aid Man.
How LL Cool J simultaneously plays the chef, the comic relief, the moral center, the theologian, the bird parent, and the guy who survives WAY longer than physics should allow.
Why Samuel L. Jackson’s motivational speech deserved an Oscar... and a shark.
How Michael Rapaport says “surface variations in tensile strength” like he’s seeing those words for the first time in his life.
How Jan the Exposition Lady heroically delivers every piece of plot information the screenplay forgot to show us—right up until she’s no longer needed.
From underwater tunnel chases to exploding ovens, from parrot-based insults to the most iconic shark surprise attack since ’75, Oz and Curtis swim through a movie that proves science can accomplish anything… except making sharks less murdery.
Final Verdict
Oz — 5 LL Cool J Kangol Hats Curtis — 61 Motivational Speeches Both — Pretty sure saffron burrows’ wetsuit scene cured something.
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