Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Episode 129: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Theme: Non-Marvel / Non-DC Comic Book Month
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis grab their nunchucks, order a questionable Domino’s special, shout damn! into the night sky, and dive sewer-first into the rubber-suit masterpiece that shaped an entire generation’s pizza preferences — Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990).

It’s Daredevil × Hell Comes to Frogtown × Anger Management × Friday the 13th × a family trip to Chuck E. Cheese all blended into one gloriously grimy New York crime wave.

The guys break down:

• The Turtles: four teenage boys in rubber suits who fight ninjas, flirt with journalists, and handle trauma with impressions, pizza, and emotional avoidance.
• April O’Neil: fearless reporter, yellow trench icon, proud owner of the world’s most flammable apartment.
• Casey Jones: vigilante sports dad energy, misogynistic charm, and a golf-swing that doubles as capital punishment.
• Shredder & the Foot Clan: New York’s worst summer camp, complete with cigarettes, arcade games, cult vibes, and a boss who shops exclusively at “Blades R Us.”
• Splinter: therapist, dad, sensei, and the only creature with the patience to raise four sewer teens with weaponry.

Final Verdict:

Oz — 8 Katana Blades
Curtis — 83 Damns

Next week: We close out Non-Marvel / Non-DC Comic Book Month with Spawn (1997) — capes, Hell, CGI that aged like milk, John Leguizamo eating scenery (and literal trash), and Martin Sheen for some reason.