Timecop

Episode 181: Timecop (1994)

Theme: Mini Month of Cop Movies
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis kick off their pint-sized “Cop Movies with Cop in the Title” Month by time-jumping into Timecop — a movie marriage of Back to the Future Part II meets Looper with a dash of Street Fighter and a whole lot of “Van Damme does the splits, so don’t ask questions.” Jean-Claude Van Damme spins, kicks, and semi-acts his way through a future where time travel is real, government funding is questionable, and Ron Silver is allowed to chew scenery and pistachios with his mouth open. It’s part sci-fi, part action film, part PSA on why you shouldn’t touch your past self unless you want to turn into wet CGI salami.

Join your two favorite “those rules don’t make sense, but okay” podcasters as they jump through:

• Van Damme’s whooshing kicks, Wolverine boots, and mandatory butt shot — the sacred trinity.

• Ron Silver doing one and a half Ron Silvers in two different timelines.

• The TEC: a six-person government agency somehow responsible for all of history.

• Future guns, VR boobs, and time-travel sleds powered by… whatever was in the warehouse that day.

• The grand finale: two Ron Silvers merging into a CGI meat tube that still haunts 1994.

From Civil War gold heists to mall meet-cutes to the longest five-minute bomb timer in cinema history, Oz and Curtis unpack a movie that is absolutely not good… but undeniably competent.

Final Verdict

Oz — 6 Banana Splits
Curtis — 6 Bruce McGills
Both — Still wondering how the TEC has no HR despite needing it more than any agency in the past, present, or future.