Runaway

Episode 195: Runaway (1984)

Theme: Musicians in Movies Month
Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis dive into Runaway — a movie marriage of iRobot + Vertigo with a splash of Police Academy and a sprinkle of Ant-Man, all shot like The Evil Dead’s camera got bored and took a side gig. Tom Selleck’s mustache fights crime, Gene Simmons’ eyebrows do most of the villain work, Kirstie Alley chain-smokes her way through illegal microchips, and spider robots inject acid then explode… you know, in case the first murder attempt didn’t stick. It’s pure mid-’80s tech-thriller nonsense: earnest, goofy, weirdly predictive about the future, and played 100% straight.

Join your two favorite “that’s not how robots work” podcasters as they follow:

Tom Selleck as Sergeant Jack Ramsay, a robotics cop who apparently never sleeps, eats, or fills out paperwork — just sprints and dives over furniture.

Cynthia Rhodes as Officer Thompson, who spends the entire movie professionally thirsting after her partner while also becoming an elite spiderbot sniper overnight.

Gene Simmons as Dr. Charles Luther, leading every scene forehead-first and weaponizing heat-seeking bullets, murder-chips, and the most intense lurking in cinema history.

Kirstie Alley as Jackie Rogers, whose purse contains more plot devices than a whole season of 24 and who gets bug-scanned in the most male-gaze way possible.

Spiderbots that stab, acid-melt, and then explode, a police psychic for no good reason, a robot sushi chef, and an elevator climax where OSHA violations and gravity both give up.

From cornfield runaways to rooftop showdowns, Oz and Curtis celebrate a movie that somehow predicts smart devices, drones, and Ring cameras — and still finds time to end with two people making out under falling sparks while a child presumably watches off-camera.

Final Verdict

Oz — T-1000
Curtis — 81 Jump Scares
Both — Convinced Tom Selleck’s mustache could’ve stopped the spiderbots sooner if anyone had just programmed it properly.