Excalibur

Episode 228: Excalibur (1981)

Theme: Patreon Choice Month Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis kick off Patreon Choice Month with Colleen K's pick: the highly reflective, incredibly sincere, and utterly bonkers 1981 Arthurian epic, Excalibur. Join the hosts as they journey into the Dark Ages to discuss John Boorman's "speed run" of the Camelot legend. Get ready to break down the hazards of wearing full plate armor in bed, the magical restorative properties of "Grail-ade," and the undeniable power of riding a horse in slow motion while "O Fortuna" blasts in the background.

The hosts break down:

• Merlin (Nicol Williamson): The goofy, steel-skull-capped sorcerer who speaks in riddles, hangs out in a 70s-style mystical basement, and steals every scene he's in.

• King Arthur (Nigel Terry): A monarch who goes from pulling swords in a burlap sack to ruling the land, even if he occasionally stabs the literal ground in a fit of jealous rage.

• The Armor: The true star of the film, polished to a blinding "shiny and chrome" perfection and strangely never removed—even when seducing your enemy's wife.

• Lancelot (Nicholas Clay): The undefeated champion of the realm who shines brighter than a freshly waxed hubcap, but really needs to stop sleeping naked near his own broadsword.

• "O Fortuna" & The Grail: Proving that the Holy Grail is essentially just a mystical energy drink packed with electrolytes, best consumed while riding horses in slow motion.

Final Verdict:

Oz — 77 Chrome Domes

Curtis — 81 Helen Mirrens