Cabin Boy

Episode 233: Cabin Boy (1994)

Theme: Patreon Subscriber Month

Hosts: Oz, Curtis, and special guest Melissa L.

This week, Oz and Curtis welcome Patreon subscriber (and resident "goofy movie" aficionado) Melissa L. to the show to discuss the 1994 cult oddity, Cabin Boy. It’s a film that features Chris Elliott as an insufferable "fancy lad" who accidentally boards a filthy fishing vessel, encounters a six-armed blue goddess, and strangles a giant with his own belt. Originally intended for Tim Burton, this movie is a fever dream of hand-crafted miniatures, stop-motion ice monsters, and David Letterman asking the only question that matters: "Would you like to buy a monkey?"

The hosts break down:

• Nathaniel Mayweather: A condescending graduate of a finishing school for fancy lads who discovers that "swimming from Maryland to Maryland" is harder than it looks.

• Old Salt: David Letterman in a rare big-screen appearance, providing top-tier trolling and a suspiciously large inventory of sock monkeys.

• The Crew of the "Filthy Whore": A collection of gruff 90s character actors who spend the entire movie alternating between wanting to kill Nathaniel and accepting his "fish stick kitties."

• Hell’s Bucket: A nautical nightmare filled with half-man-half-shark hybrids, giant floating cupcakes that spit tobacco, and very inconsistent maritime laws.

• Callie: A six-armed, blue-skinned resident of a mysterious island who provides Nathaniel with the "moronic innocence" needed to finally become a man.

Final Verdict:

Oz — 5 Tim Burtons
Curtis — 68 Andy Richters