Cobra

Episode 250: Cobra (1986)

Theme: Rep-Title Month

Hosts: Oz & Curtis

This week, Oz and Curtis celebrate a massive milestone—their 250th episode!—by kicking off "Rep-Title Month" with the 1986 Sylvester Stallone action monument, Cobra. It’s a film that proves a custom 1950 Mercury Eight needs zero justification, leftover freezer pizza should exclusively be cut with kitchen shears, and an underground cult of tank-top-wearing, axe-clanging nihilists can easily be dispatched if you just have enough ammunition and an unrestricted willingness to litigate via pyrotechnics. Grab your matchstick, put on your mirrored aviators, and remember: you're the disease, and he's the cure.

The hosts break down:

• Lieutenant Marion "Cobra" Cobretti (Sylvester Stallone): A LAPD "Zombie Squad" operative who operates well outside the boundaries of internal affairs, utilizing high-speed reverse driving, customized ivory-gripped handguns, and extreme, unfiltered quips.

• Ingrid Knudsen (Bridget Nielsen): A high-fashion model who accidentally witnesses a late-night cult murder and spends the rest of the film being chased through dark hospital hallways, robot photo shoots, and California orange groves.

• The "Night Slasher" (Brian Thompson): A terrifyingly veiny, hyper-hydrated cult leader who spends his screen time sweating profusely, wielding a custom spiked trench knife, and making questionable janitorial wardrobe choices.

• The Grocery Store Standoff: An opening sequence where a gunman terrorizes a produce aisle by shooting watermelons and cucumbers, setting off an emergency response that requires an entire municipal SWAT unit to stand back and wait for one man in a leather jacket.

• The Foundry Climax: A brutal, metal-on-metal finale featuring a literal rain of bullets, an industrial hook, and a classic 80s hand-to-hand brawl that leaves the LAPD's internal affairs representative thoroughly punched out.

Final Verdict:

Oz — A Billion Bullets

Curtis — An Armed Robbery Every 65 Seconds