Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now (Except the Script): Why Mannequin is Better as a Soundtrack than a Movie

We’ve all had the feeling of remembering a film or TV show through rose-colored glasses. Then we catch up with it years later as adults, realizing late how shallow the script and characters are. ‘Mannequin’ is such a film, juggling silly 80’s plot contrivances, sophomoric tropes, and some genuinely romantic moments. I’m certain most folks my age or thereabouts remember this fondly, or at least the film’s iconic love theme by Starship, but I wonder how many have bothered to see it as an adult. It’s…problematic. Harmless? Perhaps, but still problematic.

Brat Pack alum Andrew McCarthy leads as the creative yet mischievous slacker Jonathan Switcher. Following a chance encounter wherein he saves a Golden Girl (Estelle Getty playing her actual age) from certain death, he is awarded a job in the type of department stores we used to see more of- the grandiose, multilevel, family-owned-for-generations style, akin to Bloomingdale’s. Here’s where the film takes a massive leap- in this ‘grounded’ setting, an ancient Egyptian princess (Cattrall) is sent to the future in the form of…a department store mannequin assembled by Mr. Switcher. Alrighty! On top of a mannequin coming to life, ‘Emmy’ has a knack for helping Jonathan create stunning window displays, back when such things could apparently transfix an entire crowd.

Adding to the farcical elements above is everyone’s favorite actor to hate in the 80s, the wet noodle that is James Spader. I respect his entire body of work, as he’s incredibly effective, but boy is he easy to despise in 80s films. Along with Spader is the guy who plays a cop in everything we remember, G.W. Bailey. He’s upstaged by his dog companion ‘Rambo’. Add in some over-the-top gyrations from Meschach Taylor (Designing Women) as ‘Hollywood’, and we have quite a collection of quirky miscreants, all involved in some sort of corporate espionage. Keep in mind, I love the ‘Hollywood’ character, but the performance is a bit much, as is the slimy saboteur character played by Christopher Maher.

Where ‘Mannequin’ occasionally shines are the few scenes of genuine, sweet connection between Emmy and Jonathan. You’ll never find them in a list of favorite movie romances, but if nothing else, director Michael Gottlieb focuses his best work with this project when the couple is alone together. I must admit, ‘Mannequin’ was flat-out special to me as a youngster, and “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” was my favorite song for many years. The shine on the film has significantly worn off over time, but the sights and sounds definitely bring me back to a time when formative thoughts about romance took shape. I’m *fond* of the film, but we should collectively admit- it’s not very good. Take the soundtrack and Cattrall’s eternally optimistic character, leave the obnoxious and outdated script.