“Kiss My Converse”: Why Berry Gordy’s The Last Dragon is the Ultimate “Good-Bad” Hallucination

Perhaps the Final Boss of “Good Bad” films, Motown founder Berry Gordy’s ‘The Last Dragon’ is a masterpiece of a genre created by its’ own existence. From the unintelligible track performed by Vanity to the overarching theme of reluctant violence in the face of inner city neighborhood threats, this was an enthralling watch from start to finish. It’s possibly the world’s first and only martial arts-comedy-music video-as-film. There is no WAY Gordy wasn’t purposely facilitating an eclectic homage within a hallucination put to celluloid. Any movie including the spoken line “KISS MY CONVERSE!” is impressively ridiculous in the best way. I smiled with genuine joy when Sho’Nuff (our villain) demanded this of Leroy Green (our hero).

Leroy, played by a martial arts actor and stuntman known by the screen name ‘Taimak’, showcases great physicality and effortless movement. Fight scenes, while still choreographed and bit silly, show reverence to Bruce Lee and Kung Fu cinema, and Taimak shines. His journey culminates in what this film likely considers to be martial arts ‘nirvana’ in the form of “The Glow”. It’s just…it’s just too good.

A brief shout out is due a number of character actors in their younger years, such as William H. Macy, Chazz Palmintieri, Mike Starr, and Keshia Knight Pulliam (‘The Cosby Show’). Leo O’Brien as the younger brother to Leroy shines as the funniest character in the film, a 13-year old going on 50. That he wasn’t in more than three films is unfortunate, as he’s a clear talent.

I’m impressed with how this movie can be obnoxiously awkward one moment, then fun with the action and precision athleticism, then funny as all get out with Julius Carry’s joyfully overcooked portrayal of Sho’Nuff. If there’s a demerit to be had, it’s the slightly egregious runtime for being what it is. That being said, if we didn’t get the 20 extra minutes, however, we might regret missing the full ultimate Sho’Nuff/Leroy battle, ending with both protagonist and villain using “The Glow”. We might miss what amounts to a full-on music video for DeBarge’s “Rhythm of the Night”. Did I really want to miss a thing in this near-masterpiece, even when it’s cringeworthy? Sho’Not!